As we wrap up another wild year with an issue focused on giving, I think it’s important to remind readers that while giving is celebrated, viewed as selfless and often encouraged, it’s also OK to take.
Take a break.
Take some time for yourself.
Take that generosity you so freely give to others and turn it inward once in a while.
Now, I’m not saying you should take your family’s grocery money and go out and buy a new car. I’m simply reminding you that it’s OK if you’re not feeling as holly and jolly as everyone else. Maybe you had a bad day at work or an argument with your spouse, or you’re battling a cold. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve given too much of yourself lately.
The holidays are a whirlwind. Families are celebrating — sometimes fighting. There’s traveling to be done, gifts to be bought — and wrapped and delivered — and meals to be cooked, all while keeping up with your regular daily to-dos.
It can be overwhelming.
Chaotic.
Anxiety-inducing.
Exhausting.
And that’s why it’s perfectly OK to decline that invitation to your great-aunt’s new boyfriend’s sister’s Christmas Eve extravaganza, or skip traveling three states away to visit relatives who don’t even remember your birthday without a Facebook notification.
If you need help with Christmas shopping, ask for it. Don’t let the stress rest solely on your shoulders. Can’t cook an elaborate holiday feast? Make it a potluck!
If volunteering with an organization is keeping you away from your family, consider taking a break to enjoy the holidays with loved ones. If you’re overworking to get ahead for the New Year, slow down and take some time to enjoy your hobbies, or lose yourself watching trash TV instead of grinding away.
It’s OK to take a step back and give yourself a minute — or a few hours — of “me time.” In this season of giving and spreading love and joy, don’t forget to give some of it to yourself.
This has been a tough year for many individuals and families, and it’s OK if you can’t buy extravagant gifts. What matters most is spending time together and showing you care. The people who truly care about you and your well-being won’t be upset if you choose to buy groceries instead of a gift or put gas in your car instead of taking them out to dinner.
If being around certain family members is mentally draining, it’s OK to skip gatherings where they’ll be present. If you’re left off the invite list for a family function and hear about it secondhand, it’s okay to feel hurt — but don’t let it determine your self-worth. That says much more about the person who excluded you than it does about you.
For families where the drama runs deep, and you’ve chosen to go “no contact” with certain relatives, it’s completely valid to avoid those who stress you out. But try not to let those strained relationships affect your connection with other family members.
The holidays are about family, yes — but not at your own expense. Protect your peace and ensure that you and your immediate family are cared for before worrying about anyone else.
This season, give yourself a gift, too: the gift of grace.
Grace to rest when you need it.
Grace to spend less on Christmas than you normally would.
Grace to skip cooking the entire Christmas dinner.
I think you’ll find that it’s truly a gift worth celebrating.